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Love at First Hear
For Winston-Salem residents Bernie and Marsha Buckles, love truly is blind, and the couple – both employees at Industries for the Blind – wouldn’t have it any other way.
The two met on a national telephone chat line in 2003. At the time, she was living in Ohio and working as a telephone solicitor. He was in Philadelphia, PA., where he had spent much of his life. They connected over their love of music and the daytime soap “All My Children.”
“The thing that captivated me about Marsha was her skills as a conversationalist,” related Bernie, 47. “We used to sit on the phone for eight hours at a time and never ran out of things to say.”
What began as friendly conversation soon because a love affair. Bernie visited Marsha during the Christmas holiday in 2003. By February 2004, she had packed up and moved to Philadelphia to be with him. It was a big move, admitted the self-described “church girl.”
“A lot of people thought I was absolutely nuts,” she related with a grin.
“We took a chance. It could have crashed and burned,” her husband added.
“It was the craziest and the best decision I’ve ever made,” Marsha said.
Marsha began signing with an a cappella group Bernie had been part of for some time, and the two made a life together in the Philadelphia rooming house their called home. The following year, they wed. It wasn’t easy starting a life together in the company of strangers, but the connection that existed between them helped sustain the newlyweds.
Ironically, both Bernie and Marsha were blinded at birth by the same bizarre circumstances: both were born premature and say their retinas were burned because they were left in the incubators too long as infants. They both had dated sighted people in the past; being with someone who was blind brought an added layer of symmetry to the relationship, Bernie said. Both matriculated through schools for the blind, so they had many childhood experiences in common.
“The advantage to being with somebody who is blind is you spend a lot less time trying to understand each other,” he stated. “There’s thing you don’t have to explain to blind people. They just get it.”
In 2008, after being laid off and having his employment restored only part-time, Bernie decided it was time for a change of scenery. A friend had told him about the opportunities that were available at IFB – the largest employer of people who are blind in the country – and the Buckleses decided to put their hats in the ring.
Annette Clinard, director of Human Resources for Winston-Salem IFB, traveled to Pennsylvania to meet the couple. Clinard says she was impressed by their enthusiasm and she asked them to come be a part of the IFB family.
“They were very, very eagar to prove themselves, with no doubt in their minds that they had lots to offer this company, and they certainly were able to demonstrate that,” she said.
Despite her outward optimism, Marsha said she had her doubts about coming to IFB, a not-for-profit business that serves clients worldwide, including the US government, and manufactures everything from mattresses to presecription eyeglasses. She had spent much of her career doing customer service over the phone and was uncertain how she would fare working in an industrial environment and living in the South. Both the city and, which provides a variety of supplementary activities for its staff, including computer classes and a Toastmasters club, have far exceeded her expectations.
“It might be late in coming, but for me, I finally have the dignity that I fought for,” said Marsha, a member of the National Federation of the Blind. “I feel gratefule for IFB because it feels good to earn your own money, to go shopping with money that you made.”
Bernie says he is also happy at IFB.
“We are so glad that we came down here. It was the best move that we’ve ever made – besides getting married that is,” he declared. “I’m very please with me employment. I feel as though I’m doing something useful for our country. We, as blind people, feel our self worth is higher because we know we’re doing something that’s definitely worthy.
Bernie has not been shy about spreading the good news about IFB. In fact, he’s become something of an unofficial spokesman for the company, Clinard said.
“We’ve relocated several familes because of Bernie,” she related. “Bernis was happy here and he let everybody know it. He’s become a great recruitment source.”
Bernie and Marsha recently had the chance to sharie their story on the airwaves, as part of the ECHO (Everyone Can Help Out) Network’s StoryLine project. The project records conversations of pairs of local people who share insights on the topic of their choosing, in hopes of helping city residents gain a greater understanding of the diverse populace that calls Winston-Salem home.
The StoryLine bus, where the stories are recorded, traveled to IFB in search of stories that could shed some light on the experiences of people in the community who are blind, explained Natasha Gore, executive director of the ECHO Network. Gore, who has led the organization for over a year, said the couple’s story cuts to the heart of the project’s mission.
“The whole point is to illustrate how we have a lot more similarities than we have differences,” she noted. “This is the type of story that really illustrates that.”
The Buckles smiled when they visited the StoryLine Web site and heard their voices float from the speakers of their computer at home this week. The couple say they greatly enjoyed the experience.
“For 45 minutes, we had this captive audience and we just went with it,” said Marsha 58.
“It was cool,” Bernie agreed.
“That’s part of what bonds us together,” she added with a smile. “We both love to talk.”
By LAYLA FARME | Winston-Salem Chronicle
